Challenging times

I got my first taste yesterday of what its like to have to choose between work and family. Yesterday morning Kayler was not her normal self. She woke up after sleeping through the night with a totally dry diaper. I wasn't too concerned til I talked to Justin about the previous evening. She had only one wet diaper in the evening while I was at work. She had also been especially clingy and more fussy than normal. All of this concerned me and after talking to a couple of trusted friends and the nurse at the doctors office I decided to stay home from work and take her to the doctor. To make a long story a little shorter we saw the oncall doctor and Kayler is fine. No real explanation for what happened but she doesn't seem to be dehydrated or have any other symptoms. Today she is back to her normal self so I am very thankful for that. 

I am really struggling with my attitude towards work. I don't really want to be there and I'm having a hard time adjusting back to the stress level and new computer program. I'm not really bothered by leaving Kayler b/c she's with Grandma or Daddy but I feel like in my heart my place is to be home with her. Yesterday my frustration increased when I called into work and got the usual grumblings. I just don't care to put up with people's crap and I have much more important things in my life. Another frustration is that at work I have no convienent place to pump. I have to go three floors up and to a different wing of the hospital. Its so hard to get away with all my nursing duties and responsibilities. Gurrrrrrrr!

Of course another area of stress and challenge is financially. I'm part time now and that greatly increased what we pay for insurance along with decreasing my paycheck. The economy is hurting us a little but not too bad. We're just trying to be really smart with our spending and I'm always looking for ways to save or spend less. At times I am struggling with regret over buying our commercial building. If we hadn't done that we would have a substantial nest egg and virtually no debt. On the flip side we wouldn't have that source of income. Hopefully it will turn out to be a wise decision in the end. 

Kayler is the light of our lives, of course. She is growing and changing so much. Yesterday she weighed 13lbs 8oz which means she's almost doubled her weight since she was born. She's very interactive now "talking" and cooing and learning to scoot herself around a little. She rolled over once from her stomach to her back and is working on going from her back to her stomach. She must have some teeth coming in b/c she's started drooling and wanting to chew on things. She's so cute and fun. Thankfully she slept much better last night. Hopefully we got her over little rebellion of wanting to stay up til 11pm. 

We will be dedicating Kayler to the Lord in church on Sunday. I'm looking forward to that but am a little nervous about how she's going to do during the service b/c its right in the middle of her morning nap time. I pray for her everyday and am so thankful for the blessing she is in our lives. I am excited about her future school years. We recently received a brochure from Polk County Christian school and we found that its much more affordable than we thought. Hopefully sending her to school there will give her a good Christian education. We'll see what God has in store for our little angel.